Ron Stark

Madison Comprehensive High School

Class of 1985

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First Name	Ron
Last Name	Stark
Graduation Year	Class of 1985
Gender	Male
Current Location	Yorktown, Virginia
Hometown	Mansfield, Ohio
Relationship Status	Married
About Me	Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I'm a dynamic figure often seen scaling walls and crushing ice at the same time. I can cook 30-minute brownies in 20 minutes. The laws of physics do not apply to me. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. I have been known to remodel train stations on short lunch breaks making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. I play bluegrass cello. I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I'm a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed...(read more)