Edward May Obituary (1956 - 2025)

Born Jul 11, 1956, Edward May attended Indian Hills High School in Oakland, NJ. View the obituary, post a memory, or share a photo about Edward May.

Graduation Year	Class of 1974
Date of Birth	Jul 11, 1956
Date of Passing	Apr 10, 2025
About	A very touching tribute for a fellow classmate gone too soon. RIP Ed May, you will be missed. In Loving Memory Edward J. May July 11,1956-April 10, 2025 Edward May, 68, faced cancer with grace, courage, and quiet strength, and passed away peacefully on April 10, 2025, surrounded by love. He had an extraordinary way of making people feel seen and celebrated, simply by being himself. The world feels quieter without his generous heart, and his absence will be deeply felt by all who knew him. Born in Buffalo, New York to Ed and Eleanor May, Ed was the eldest of six siblings and a grounding force in the family. He was the one to call when something went wrong—or right. He offered wisdom without judgment, humor without ego, and support without hesitation. Whether through a thoughtful phone call or hopping on a plane to show up in person, Ed always put his family first. As the oldest child, Ed was known for always wearing a red shirt—his parents’ way of keeping an eye on him in a crowd. But the truth was, Ed was rarely still. He was the one wandering down to the river to look for snapping turtles, striking up conversations with strangers, and greeting the world with curiosity and openness. That red shirt wasn’t just for visibility—it became a symbol of his natural brightness, his warmth, and the way he drew people in wherever he went. In his final years, Ed found the love he had always dreamed of in his husband, James McDiffett. Their relationship was a beautiful and joyful alignment—one built on laughter, deep understanding, and unwavering support. With James, Ed experienced the ease and lightness of being fully known and unconditionally loved. It was a love story that gave him peace, joy, and the sense of home he had long been seeking. Professionally, Ed was a gifted leader and mentor. He held several key roles throughout his career, including serving as Head of Human Resources for Ferrero Rocher, where he was beloved not only for his leadership but also for his joy in acknowledging others. He was known for traveling with boxes of chocolates, which he gifted to United Airlines flight crews in honor of their service and in tribute to his father, a longtime United pilot. His work was never just about business—it was about people, presence, and kindness. Ed’s friendships ran deep and wide. His New York City chosen family was a vibrant, essential part of his world. These were the friends who welcomed him when he first moved to the city and who became his second family. Together, they shared decades of loyalty, laughter, and tradition—especially their beloved annual trips to Fire Island and Provincetown. Ed remained deeply connected to his closest college friends from his days at Notre Dame, his cherished childhood companions, and trusted business colleagues who became lifelong friends. These relationships were a central part of his life—marked by decades of mutual support, joy, and presence. Ed didn’t just love his friends; he loved their families too, becoming a beloved figure to their children, who saw him as part of their lives and celebrations. Whether offering his NYC apartment, showing up for milestones, or checking in just when it mattered most, Ed had a gift for staying close. Ed had a quiet way of anchoring people—through his care, his constancy, and his big-hearted belief in being there when it mattered. Ed was also a compassionate volunteer at Memorial Sloan Kettering, where he supported cancer patients with quiet strength, and a passionate advocate for LGBTQ+ elders through his volunteer work with SAGE (Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders). He believed deeply in honoring the lives, dignity, and stories of those who paved the way—and through SAGE, he gave back with the same kindness and respect that defined his every relationship. He is survived by his beloved husband James, his five siblings, Don May and wife Nancy, Maggie Sparhawk and husband Mike, Kathie Runnels and husband Craig, Maryellen May and partner Kelton Starks and Linda Fitzgerald and husband Eamon Fitzgerald and his many cherished nieces, nephews, and great-nieces and nephews, all of whom adored their “Uncle Ed.” He is also held in the hearts of dear friends from every chapter of his life, near and far. To know Ed was to feel truly seen. His legacy lives on in every life he touched, in every story he shared, and in every quiet act of kindness that ripples forward in his name. In his own words: “Each day is special, and we don’t always know when our time on this earth is over. So I will do my best to live my life as best as I can. My smile you see shows you how much you mean to me and how I choose to move forward.” In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to FLOATARAMA, an LGBTQ+ charity close to Ed’s heart that raises funds for community causes with celebration and pride. https://floatarama.org/