South Hunterdon High School Alumni
Lambertville, New Jersey (NJ)
Dorian Christensen
South Hunterdon High School
Class of 1999
→ Join 1152 Alumni from South Hunterdon High School that have already claimed their alumni profiles.
→ There are 50 classes, starting with the class of 1951 all the way up to class of 2017.
DORIAN'S PROFILE
First Name | Dorian |
Last Name | Christensen |
Graduation Year | Class of 1999 |
Gender | Male |
Hometown | Lambertville, New Jersey |
Relationship Status | Engaged |
About Me | I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat . 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet fin...(read more) |
Class of 1999 Alumni and Other Nearby Classes
Candice Matison
Class of 1995
James Sarapata
Class of 1963
Peggie Allshouse
Class of 1970
Christine Trautman
Class of 1988
Megan Ohler
Class of 1985
William Kuntz
Class of 1975
Lisa Steffanelli
Class of 1998
Daniel Mcguire
Class of 1983
Barry Schermerhorn
Class of 1969
Stacey Helewa
Class of 2000
Rich Cornelius
Class of 1975
Bonnie Opdyke
Class of 1973
Frank Kramer
Class of 1951
David Musselman
Class of 1983
Joseph Ferguson
Class of 1984
Phillip Pittore Iii
Class of 1991
Toby Jefferis
Class of 1989
Amanda Eick
Class of 1994
Louis Ingrassia
Class of 1962
Leslie Cowan
Class of 1978
Deanna Cuccia
Class of 1998
Lorena Garcia
Class of 1990
Beauregard Davis
Class of 1980
Stacy Zarlengo
Class of 1989