James Alva Conner Obituary

James Alva Conner attended Eisenhower High School in Yakima, WA. View the obituary, post a memory, or share a photo about James Alva Conner.

Graduation Year	Faculty
Date of Passing	Jan 31, 2018
About	After reading this, many of you will wonder why did he write such an unusual obituary. I want to try to explain. Obituaries are important to helping wrap up a person’s life, but I felt that telling the reader the normal stuff is not what I wanted to do. I want to encourage the folks who knew me to remember the important things they experienced with me. Besides, this way I get to participate a bit more in my own life’s tapering down, and, as strange as it may seem, I am having a bit of fun doing this. So, as you read this, think of the things that are important in your memories of me be they good or bad. I also want to relate what I think are important. When I died, I did not hear Emily Dickinson’s fly buzz. There were no past relatives ushering me toward a bright light. I did not hover over my own body. Rather, I found myself beside what seemed like Robert Frost’s woods – “lovely, dark, and deep”. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s go back to the beginning. My mom, Mayro Fair, and my dad, Alva Conner, met on a train in 1943. He was headed to Europe with the Army; she to Oak Ridge, Tennessee. He would, later in WWII, help liberate the Nordhousen concentration camp in Germany; she would work in Oak Ridge, Tennessee to help develop “the bomb” that was dropped on Japan. One thing led to another, and they fell in love, got off the train briefly in Houston, Texas, got married, reboarded the train and continued on with their journey. A few years later I was born on November 25, 1946 in Redlands, California. A lot of we “boomers” were born around that time. War is hell, but it’s nice when you come home! I grew up in Twenty-nine Palms, California. I have memories and life lessons from those times that have served me throughout my life – stepping on rattlesnakes (don’t do it); chasing and catching lizards (athletic training); playing with my cousins, Vicky, Bobby Reed, Hedy, Cub, Gary, and Caroline; playing with biting ants under the elm tree (don’t do that either); shooting myself in the eye with a BB gun (definitely avoid that): and a multitude of other things as well. Some of these things were not so nice; almost everything was great. In 1959, we moved to Coulee Dam, Washington in my 12th year of life, and I began my most formative years. Junior high school and high school were great. I loved school and just about everything about it. I liked the classes I took and enjoyed my classmates. Sports were important. Things like student government, drama, choir and yearbook kept me involved throughout the school year. These things were great, but the most important thing to occur during these years was meeting this young lady, Janice Kusel. We became friends immediately upon meeting. This evolved quickly into our becoming best friends, and, in no time, we were going steady. It is a true gift to be able to fall in love with your best friend. I graduated in 1964, and we were married a year later on September 11, 1965. Yeah, on 9/11. We were 18 years old, and, while I wouldn’t recommend getting married at such an early age I wouldn’t change a thing. it became a life-long love affair that I wouldn’t want to turn out any differently. I like who and what I have become. While Janice and I were living in Pullman for the college years, we had our three kids – Tamela Jean, Shawn Delma, and Kathryn Marie. Our family moved to Yakima where the three of them grew up, attended public schools, and became fine, upstanding citizens of the community and the world. Folks whose parents are beyond proud of. More on this later. I attended Washington State University majoring in English and then, got my MEd in School Counseling in 1972. My first job as a high school counselor was at Eisenhower High School in Yakima; it was my last high school counseling job, too. I retired in 2002 – same job and same office for 30 years. Very importantly, I had the privilege of working with a number of counselors who helped change the world for many students. Notably are Steve Zuber, Jerry Gibbons, Leeann Sewell, and Idalee McCormick (my own music teacher at Coulee Dam High School) and a number of others during those 30 years. We made a difference in the lives of kids. After retiring, I worked at A. J. Consulting, subbed as a counselor at Davis High School; counseled at OIC, EPIC and Advanced Academics; and, for 13 years, taught the Legal and Ethics course and the counselor internship courses in the masters counseling program at Heritage University. It has been a great career. I had the good fortune of being mentored throughout my life by Gail and Rudy Martin. Two of the smartest people I have known and the most supportive people Janice and I could have asked for. I suspect that neither of them were aware of their impact on our lives. Their kids Grant, Gregg and Paul remain connected with us to this day. I have been particularly impacted by a number of events throughout my life. The effects remain with me to this day. I recall driving with my parents through Little Rock, Arkansas sometime in the 1950’s where I saw white men running with pick-ax handles among black people in front of a large white school building. There was the Viet Nam war, the assassinations of JFK, RFK and MLK. I cannot begin to imagine what the world would look like today had these things not happened. And there were the photos my dad took of the Nordhausen prisoners both living and dead. I am proud to have done some good in my life – friends I have made and lives on which have had some modest impact. Getting the Rotary Club Crystal Apple Award in 2002 was a special recognition for me. More importantly, my kids, and my kids’ kids became the important focus in my later years – Tamela for raising a family in which children are not required to be copies of one another; Shawn for being the best coach of baseball I have ever seen and becoming a brilliant guitarist; Kathy for being an exemplary mother and for learning to learn at Evergreen and becoming an integral part of her work in Vancouver; Andrew and his logical, engineering mind; Rachael and her academic excellence and athletic ability; Elizabeth for her excitement for her life, her intelligence, and her gracefulness when she is doing her figure skating; Kennedy for her excellence at school, her artistry, and for her Kung Fu skills (Pity the fool who ever tries to hurt her.); and Garrett and his going to school to become a great chef. I enjoyed the Young Life experience for, but, later, I became a committed Frisbeetarianism over the years. You know, that’s when you die, your soul goes up on the roof, and gets stuck. I invite you who knew me during my life to try to not be mournful about my death. Rather, I invite you to recall the times when you might have enjoyed a moment or two with me. I believe strongly in memory – your memories, so, I wish that just remember the good we may have shared. I have decided to not have a memorial service; rather, I invite you to remember events where our lives crossed and be happy in those things. Cry if you must, but I would much prefer that you remember the good things and rejoice that they happened, and laugh! I am, now, in the woods and I am fine, and, now, I’m out here. Wait! One more thing. Janice, let’s go find our Frisbees together and play with all the dogs we’ve had. Donations may be made to Yakima Humane Society. To share a memory of Jim, go to www.keithandkeith.com.