Joe Fiorello

J.p. Taravella High School

Class of 2002

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Joe Fiorello - Class of 2002 - J.p. Taravella High School

First Name	Joe
Last Name	Fiorello
Graduation Year	Class of 2002
Gender	Male
Hometown	Malverne, New York
Relationship Status	Single
About Me	Im raised old school Italian and love my family, my friends. and food. Im the youngest of 5 kids and the descendent of gladiators and gavoons. My mothers sunday gravy runs through my veins. I love Mixed Martial Arts and Fighting. Old school nintendo before playstation or xb0x. I want to spend a year in silence to better understand the sound of a whisper. I wanna take a Karate class in Japan and then go eat sushi. I want to throw french fries at french people in France. I love my Nephews and Niece. My dad knows Tony Danza and thats like the Italian god next to Sinatra. I love 80's movies old school jams and white castle when im Drunk. Im a wiseass with a comment for everything. Im can cook as well as bust a move. Im capable of the Jedi Mind Trick. I used to be a Volunteer firefighter. I would die before I let anything happend to a loved one. I once pissed lightining and shit thunder. I can throw pizza dough in the air. I think Jay Z is ill but Kayne is crushing everyone. I lost so much time on love and missed out on who I truely am so now Im taking a journey to find myself. I sometimes go out just to kickass and chew bubblegum.I have a theme song in my head that never stops playing. I wouldnt do anything for a Klondike. I miss Saturday morning cartoons from the 80's. I have an addictive personality. Ill try anything twice.I played Defensive End in high school. Chinese food is my kryptionite. I hate spiders,cockroaches,scoccer,shady girls, people who ask for more liquor in their drinks after I make them, the word culinary, being sick, people who say they're Italian when they have a southern accent, people who say Fa-Ja-Tas instead of fajitas, the chinese waitress who wont let me finish a glass of water in the resturant, spanish/cuban/brazilian people who put thier flags on everything when they are 1/4 that nationality, sweating in my sleep, accidentaly farting in public, tripping going up the stairs, trying to look cool when walking up or down a hill (cant be done), being single, being in a relationship, the word Uber, MTV shows that my friends are on, people who were never cool growing up with you and then acting as if they were part of the in crowd, people who use big words out of context, people who say cuss and not curse, and people who think scarface was the best movie EVER. I like to be held when i sleep. I cherish the moments I have with people cause you never know when those moments will end. Im tough on the outside but very kind on the inside. I dont like to be hurt. I am vengeful when hurt. I enjoy making others feel good especially when they make me feel good. I take my time to enjoy the littlest things in life. When choosing between two evils, I always like to pick the one I've never tried before.........I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performe...(read more)