So I got myself thrown out of Stevenson's speech class. It was dramatic. It was dramatic and of course I expected nothing less. He said, "Leave, forever!" So I was talking in the back of the room and it ticked him off. I go down stairs to Bus Lapine, the V.P. principle. "No one has ever gotten thrown out of his class." Now, I never told anyone the truth behind the incident. See, I hated Stevenson because he looked down that nose of his at me and my friends and classmates. He didn't lack our central NJ accents and he was determined to change them. I thought that was small of him. We repeated to his record, "The Man Ate A Ham Sandwich," over and over again. I'm Jewish. After class, I wnet to the boy's room and washed my mouth with Listerine. Down in the cafeteria, I couldn't get myself to eat dairy. I figured if my folks wanted me to speak like I came from Iowa, surely we would have moved there. Makes sense, right.